Bank of America has looked in the mirror, surprised by blemishes!

Today's Headlines from the AP:

Bank of America making changes in foreclosure

Bank of America says it's making changes in foreclosure process after review

Marcy Gordon, AP Business Writer, On Tuesday November 16, 2010, 2:19 pm EST

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Bank of America is telling a Senate panel it is making changes in its foreclosure process after an extensive review found areas needing improvement.
The bank is one of several big mortgage lenders that recently suspended foreclosures temporarily because of concern over flawed documents. Bank of America found in its review that its foreclosure decisions weren't based on inaccurate documents but did see ways the paperwork could be improved, a bank executive says in testimony prepared for a hearing Tuesday by the Senate Banking Committee.
Among the changes, the legal documents used in the process will each be reviewed by the signer and promptly notarized, said Barbara Desoer, president of the bank's home loans division.
Desoer said the bank is replacing and resubmitting affidavits that were filed previously in about 102,000 foreclosure cases that haven't yet gone to judgment in the 23 states where courts play a role in the process. Also, Charlotte, N.C.-based Bank of America is putting in new procedures for selecting and monitoring the law firms it retains to process foreclosures.
"We are taking the need for improvement very seriously and are implementing changes accordingly," Desoer said in her testimony.
The Senate banking panel was examining the issue amid growing concern over the disarray stemming from flawed foreclosure documents. A congressional watchdog said in a report issued Tuesday that the disarray could threaten major banks with billions of dollars in losses, deepen the disruption in the housing market and hurt the government's effort to keep people in their homes.
Revelations that several big mortgage companies sped through thousands of home foreclosures without properly checking paperwork already have raised alarm in Washington. If the irregularities are widespread, the consequences could be severe, the Congressional Oversight Panel said in the report. The full impact is still unclear, the report cautions.
Employees or contractors of several major banks have testified in court cases that they signed, and in some cases backdated, thousands of certifying documents for home seizures. Financial firms that service a total $6.4 trillion in mortgages are involved, according to the new report. In addition to Bank of America Corp., JPMorgan Chase & Co. and Ally Financial Inc.'s GMAC Mortgage have suspended foreclosures for some period because of flawed documents.
Federal and state regulators, including the Federal Reserve and attorneys general in all 50 states, are investigating whether mortgage companies cut corners on their own procedures when they moved to foreclose on people's homes.
Iowa Attorney General Tom Miller, who is leading the states' probe, was scheduled to testify at the hearing Tuesday afternoon. Also expected to appear was the head of Chase's home loan division and the CEO of Mortgage Electronic Registration Systems Inc., or MERS, the system set up so that banks could track a mortgage and avoid paying fees each time one was transferred. Lawyers for homeowners have argued that MERS lacks the documentation to prove mortgage ownership.

They thought the Titanic was too big to sink too.

With customer service and a predatory attitude like Bank of America's does anyone find it shocking that their stock has dropped 40%?

Read on, dear friends, about poor, troubled Bank of America.

Shedding a teensy weensy tear for you.

Bank of America Is in Deep Trouble, and There May Be Financial Disaster on the Horizon AlterNet

Dear Brian Moynihan, somebody thinks you suck at your job.

Another brand new gem from The Rip-Off Report, and I swear I didn't write it!

It was some guy named Joe in Lake Tahoe. 

B of A's CEO Brian T. Moynihan SUCKS At His Job.  B of A cannot properly post payments nor keep track of what they've done or haven't done.  Please see my e-mail conversation with B of A where B of A just stole my $11,500 payments they had posted as pre-paid, then just disappeared it all off their records ($11,500!!) when they promised me in writing a 84 month loan mod but instead did only a 60 month.

B of A's CEO Brian T. Moynihan SUCKS At His Job.  Brian T. Moynihan, B of A CEO, has refused to look at or consider my B of A original mortgage statements, my cashed checks to B of A nor my bank statements nor the Washoe County RecordersOfficer where B of A still illegally has their Notice of Default filed against my home because B of A's incorrect records NOW have no records of their Notice of Default.

B of A's CEO Brian T. Moynihan SUCKS At His Job.  Although Nevada AB 149 requires it, B of A's CEO Brian T. Moynihan REFUSED United States Representative (Rep) Dean Heller’s request for the required mediation with Lance Allen.

B of A's CEO Brian T. Moynihan SUCKS At His Job.  B of A's CEO Brian T. Moynihan WON'T look at the Washoe County Recorder's records where their illegal Notice of Default is still filed because B of A's internal records NOW incorrectly have noNotice of Default records?!

B of A's CEO Brian T. Moynihan SUCKS At His Job.  B of A's CEO Brian T. Moynihan WON'T look at their B of A original mortgage statements, my cashed checks to B of A nor my bank statements for when B of A was posting my payments as $11,500 pre-paid because B of A's internal records NOW incorrectly have no such records?!  My $11,500 just disappeared off the B of A books.

B of A's CEO Brian T. Moynihan SUCKS At His Job.  B of A's CEO Brian T. Moynihan has refused to honor the 84 month loan mod contract they sent me in writing and I relied on and paid them UPFRONT for.    For unknown reasons, B of A changed our contract without my permission or prior knowledge to 60 months.

Joe, good luck to you. Your situation totally SUCKS.

It's official. Nobody has anything nice to say about Bank of America.

Dear Bank of America, nobody really likes you.

It's not just me. 

Yeah, that's a bold statement.
But I have scientific proof on my side.
I googled "Bank of America stole my house" and found oodles of websites just like this one, dedicated to not liking you. Like this one at www.pissedoffconsumer.com

"My mortgage salseman (an employee of Countrywide) stole the title to my house and an additional 50k in cash. I have been litigating him, his employer Countrywide, and their new owner Bank of America for 2 years. I have spent over 100k on my attorney who quit after I ran out. BofA refuses to settle and I will be representing myself against them Dec

21st. They claim that despite the fact that an employee (verified) did this within thier offices, and despite three other signing off on the paperwork, they have no responsibility or liability.  See my site and CALL and FAX the numbers- only a week left!     www.bofaexposed.com"

Then I found this at the Huffington Post:

PITTSBURGH — A Pittsburgh-area woman is suing Bank of America, claiming it wrongfully repossessed her home and saying that a bank contractor trashed the house and took her parrot.

Forty-six-year-old Angela Iannelli sued Bank of America in Allegheny County on Monday. She claims her mortgage payments were on time when the contractor damaged furniture, took her pet parrot and padlocked the door to her Allison Park home in October.

Bank of America declined to comment. The suit seeks unspecified damages.
Iannelli's attorney says she suffered irreparable emotional damage and is afraid to set foot in the house. The lawsuit says she eventually regained possession of the bird, named Luke, after repeated phone calls to the bank.

So then I googled "I love Bank of America" and I found plenty of sites that mentioned this phrase, but lo and behold, and completely not a surprise to me - they were all tongue in cheek, snarky websites dedicated to pointing out how ridiculous Bank of America is. Like I Love Bank of America Even If You Don't . Then there was Bank of America SUCKS!!!! (I swear I googled "I love Bank of America, not "Bank of America SUCKS", but still, this is what I got.) I also came up with the below poll of moms. 

How do you feel about Bank of America?

• I HATE Bank of America

  38%

• 
  

  
  

  I Love Bank of America

  17%

• 
  

  
  

  I've never dealt with Bank of America

  44%

Wow. 17%. That sucks. Just saying. 

Well, I'll be sure to let you know if anyone says anything nice about you.

RipOff Report!

Just so you know, here's how one Bank of America customer in Fort Mill, South Carolina feels about her bank.

I switched to Bank of America in July as they were supposed to refinance my house. I switched both business and personal accounts. WRONG move. I clearly asked them how long my checks would be held on new accounts. They said two days. Well checks started to be held 2 but really four days. Five day holds meant seven and seven day holds were actually 10 days.

After we discovered we were being hit with fees. I contacted the bank manager on a specific check asking when it would go through. He urged me to get it cashed at Wachovia and then deposit cash. I walked over to Wachovia and they couldn't cash it because it was a Vanguard account. I walked it back over to bofaand they said that Wachovia should have cashed it. Then I told them I was stuck it was now past 2:00 and my money still wasn't in the bank. They said they would make half available and would keep the cuttoff open till three. The other half of the money would be avaible Thursday. Thursday we wrote checks and they bounced. Money wasn't in till Friday.

I went back to ask them why and they said it was because it was after 2:00. I then told them they said they would hold any checks that were presented and they didn't. I was hit with major fees. I just found out the sent not an NSF to our vendors but a noticed we had made out checks without having money in the bank. I have been hit with enormous overdraft fees. I am now losing our creditablity with our vendors and I am sitting on a $8000 check currently that I tried to present, but they said they wouldn't credit myaccount with it for 7( really 10) days, because it was a home equity check from a client. The home equity account through Charles Swab bank verified the funds, but they still said it would be 7 days. Tell me what to do this is ruining me, my family and my business.

Alice
Fort Mill, South Carolina
U.S.A.

I totally ripped this off from www.ripoffreport.com. Figured they wouldn't mind. Keep up the good fight, people!

Ever get that feeling you're being watched?

It's not just a feeling. I know it.

Somebody out there in the corporate world of Bank of America is reading my blog.
In fact, somebody from Bank of America in Fort Mill, South Carolina spent 40 minutes perusing my blog the other day.

Are you one of the 5 to 9 employees at the Fort Mill, South Carolina branch of Bank of America? How'd you stumble across my humble little ol' blog? I hope you didn't put some poor Bank of America customer on hold for 40 minutes to read it....

I'm just kidding. I'm glad you took the time to check it out. Velkommen. Say hi to your president, Brian Moynihan, in the state above ya.

It's somewhat heartening to know that one of the more than 10-thousand employees of Bank of America is interested enough in their company's business to go googling "Bank of America" and "illegal foreclosures" or "bad customer service" or one of the many similar terms I've used in my rants.

It's my true hope that you'll reflect on some of the practices the corporation you work for has been engaged in, and RUN! RUN LIKE THE WIND! If you truly care about good customer service and making sure that you are engaged in ethical, responsible banking behavior, friend, consider going to work for a small credit union. Because the corporation you work for is so flawed that after all the homeowners get screwed and all the customers with savings and checking accounts get fleeced, there's nobody left to destroy but the employees.
So quick, before Bank of America starts to eat its young, get OUT.

Attention, Oregon Attorney General!!!!

A friend brought this to my attention today.
I concur.

Class Action Lawsuit Against B of A!

Hey, Oregon Attorney General, get on board. This isn't just happening in New Jersey, it's happening EVERYWHERE.

I AM NOT ALONE!!!

I was just goofing around, looking to see if there was anyone else who had a blog dedicated to Bank of America's horrifically awful customer service. Actually, to be honest, I was doing a search for photos depicting "Bank of America" and "bad customer service" and the above photo plus the accompanying blog is what I came up with:

Bank of America totally sticks it to us!


It's so nice to know that I am not alone. And as it turns out, I'm not the only one out there searching for other bloggers who are horrified by Bank of America's mode of doing business.

I'm such a lucky _(insert snarky curse word here)_!

Oh. My. Gosh.
I can hardly believe my luck.
Out of all the people in the world, I was chosen to receive a - are you ready for this? -

CUSTOMER SERVICE SATISFACTION SURVEY
FROM
BANK OF AMERICA!!!!

Bank of America, are you sure?
Really?
Because I've been rehearsing my opinion about you guys for a few weeks here already, so I'm up for this.

Oh, I am sooooo up for this.

Calling Brian Moynihan! I've got a degree in Communication, so let me show you how.

Hi Brian Moynihan, CEO of Bank of America! It's been a few days. I meant to get back to you earlier, but I've been kind of busy, communicating. Not with your people, of course. It's been a long time since anyone in your organization has actually returned a phone call. Communication is my business. I've got a degree in it. So, I figured perhaps once again, I could offer my expertise in that area to help you understand what went horribly wrong with Bank of America.

Brian, good communication is a great, necessary foundation for a long lasting relationship.

This is not new news to you, I'm sure. Since you and Susan have been married successfully long enough to have 3 children together, you must have pretty good communication skills when it's important to you. And as the captain of your rugby team at Brown you probably had to learn to communicate well with your teammates. So this is not a new concept to you.

But it seems to be for the 100,000+ employees under your charge.

This is going to be a tough one for you, but you're going to have to start demanding that your employees communicate with your clients. It'll be one month this Wednesday since my last conversation with Jennifer Saunders in fraud. I've called her numerous times and faxed her since then, but communicating with me doesn't seem to be a high priority for her. I'm also still waiting for a reinstatement quote that I was promised 3 weeks ago from Dionne Williams. These are just the most recent examples of a lack of follow through and communication with your people. And remember Brian, I'm actually trying to GIVE YOU MONEY to reinstate my mother-in-law's mortgage. Right now we're just sitting in limbo, waiting for you people to get your act together. So get crackin', buddy. Get it together. Instead of wasting all your time in conference calls defending the poor reading skills of the people you hired to sign foreclosure documents, start demanding that your employees quit filing their nails and playing playing online solitaire and start calling clients back so that work can get done.

Don't go thinking it's just me that's not being communicated with, Brian. I am hearing over and over again these same lack of communication stories about Bank of America from other clients and former clients. These are people who are trying to complete various tasks with your organization, and are getting nowhere because your people don't have the tools to help them. When you've got an organization as large as yours, you need to give them tools. You need to educate them. Give them a playbook or something. Try communicating with your own employees so that they can, in turn, start communicating effectively with the people you're not serving, who are going to cut their ties with you as fast as they can and go to a smaller bank who's head can see its tail, and understands the value of returning a phone call.

Meanwhile, Fannie Mae got busy!

Fannie Mae headquarters. Niiiice.
Hey, if all our efforts to reinstate my mother-in-law's mortgage with BofA fall through, can she move in with you?

In earlier posts, I've talked about Bank of America's apparent inability to do anything. That's how they roll. Fannie Mae's not like that. They get busy!
When the aforementioned game of Hot Potato dumped me into Fannie Mae's lap, they refused to deal with me until I got a bunch of paperwork filled out, emailed, and then waited 2 days for it to be processed.

While I was waiting for the 48 hours to pass, Fannie Mae didn't waste any time, and contracted with an asset management company called Green River, who in turn contracted with a very unfortunate real estate agent in Coos Bay, who showed up on my mother-in-law's house to evict her.
Poor gal, they told her the house was vacant. Poor gal, she wasn't quite prepared for the yelling and screaming and wailing that came from my mother-in-law, or her renters (an 85 year old on oxygen in a wheelchair and her sweetheart) next door who were also being victimized in this tragedy.

She practically threw her card at Margaret, and skedaddled out of there. Later, when I called this poor gal, she told me that she felt awful about this part of her job, and never wanted to go back to that house ever again, didn't want to be involved in inflicting that kind of stress and torture on people. I don't blame her. It's like having blood on your hands, and who wants that?

Hot Potato!

How perfectly this image (Thanks Harper-Collins) portrays Bank of America trying to wiggle out of dealing with improper foreclosures by playing Hot Potato with desperate clients!

I was just reminiscing on one of my first phone calls to Bank of America back in June after my mother-in-law's home was foreclosed on, auctioned on the courthouse steps in Coquille (nobody was interested) and the property was dumped back into the hands of the investor, Fannie Mae.
It resulted in my first game of Bank of America  Hot Potato!

I spoke to Terrance. (I'm on a first name basis with so many BofA employees!!!) Terrance told me that if Margaret wanted her home back, she'd have to pay back the entire $58K loan along with fees & interest.  Then he told me I needed to talk to "The lawyers at ReConTrust." I remembered that name...it was a logo on some of two foot fall stack of stuff I brought back home with me after visiting Margaret and realizing her home had been foreclosed on. That didn't make a lot of sense to me, calling ReConTrust, since they had already accomplished the task they were contracted to do. When I told him this Terrance thought perhaps he should get an upper level manager on the line to give him some advice.
I don't know if Terrance ever got ahold of a higher-up, but he put me on hold for 20 minutes while I became aquainted with BofA's on-hold music. When he returned, he reiterated that I needed to speak to the lawyers. He gave me their number. So I called.
I realized pretty quickly that I'd been passed on from one peon call center employee to another.
I didn't have to say it. The ReCon Trust employee said to me almost right off the bat, "I bet Bank of America told you that you'd be speaking to a lawyer, right? We're not lawyers. I don't know why they say that, but that's what they're telling people." Then he went on. "And I bet they told you that you needed to speak to us about buying the house back. But that's not true either." And he gave me the name of another foreclosure technician at Bank of America and told me to call them back.
And so the runaround began.
That day I spoke with Linda, who passed me to Rachel in home retention.
Rachel passed me on to Alan in REO.
Alan told me to call Fannie Mae.
And that's where the game of Hot Potato ended on that day, because Fannie Mae told me they wouldn't even begin to speak to me until after I filled out the proper consent forms, emailed them and waited at least 48 hours.

Normally I wouldn't suggest Outsourcing. But in your case, I'll make an exception.

I think outsourcing is one of the evils destroying our country. For every 3 employees in a third world country, that's probably equivalent to one American on unemployment. And I have such a hard time understanding broken English from thousands of miles away. And I'm really bothered when I'm told I'm speaking with Ronald or Ted, but I'm pretty sure it's Sanjit Rajneeshijad. So I'm not a fan of outsourcing.

However, Brian Moynihan, CEO of Bank of America, in your case I'll make an exception. Nothing would make me happier than knowing a bunch of the red blooded Americans who currently answer the phone when I call you for help are filing for unemployment. Because then, perhaps, they'll be a little more motivated to actually work for their wage. So far, I'm not seeing a whole lot of work going on. I'm seeing a lot of stalling, I'm not getting any of my phone calls returned, I've been waiting for 3 weeks for Jennifer Saunders in fraud to call me back. What's up with that?

Anyway, I think you'd be justified in outsourcing the entire organization to India or Taiwan, because then you'd save enough money to start paying back the 25 BILLION dollars in TARP funds - funds that were made possible by people like me who pay taxes. Funds that were supposed to help stop, not continue the madness.

Maybe if you outsourced you wouldn't have to charge your customers $8.95 a month for a checking account. By the way, Brian, my mother-in-law closed her accounts at Bank of America and took her money to US Bank after she was treated very poorly at her local banking center. But somehow, someone failed to actually close the account. So your wonderful, well-run institution began charging her, and then sent her to a collections agency to try to recoup those charges. Come on, you gotta admit, that's pretty lame.

I am deeply disappointed in the way your employees are handling your business. I understand you want to make a profit. But it shouldn't be made by cheating little old ladies, signing documents that destroy other people's lives without reading them through, or not finishing tasks, dropping the ball, not returning phone calls, and basic procrastination. It really makes you guys look bad.

So I say get rid of the whole bunch and outsource.

Actually, outsourcing to another country, while it would save you money, isn't my recommendation. I've got a plan that would allow you to not only improve customer service, but also get you some major PR Bonus Points! Yes, you still fire them all, but instead of going overseas, replace them with out of work Americans who have just lost their homes to foreclosure. Americans whose homes were taken from them when your employees signed off but failed to read the documents. Americans who lost everything because when they called your customer service call center to try to fix the problem, they ended up reaching someone who has no clue how to handle the phone call. Someone who has no idea how to help them. Or someone who has no intention to help them. Or perhaps they were finally routed to the correct department, but nobody answered the phone. That's happened a zillion times to me. So they left a message, and never got a call back. Brian, get rid of these people who don't take customer service seriously. IT MAKES YOU LOOK BAD.

Brian, if you're not convinced that Bank of America's customer service needs a serious overhaul, just try calling your own 800# to try to fix a problem. Note how horrid your on hold music is, and then see if 15 minutes later you're not ready to strangle a bunny.

OK, go take a break, wipe your brow, think about what I've said and let's meet back here after lunch so we can talk about communication.

Bank of America CEO Brian Moynihan, I heard the bad news

Brian Moynihan. Learn more about him. He's from Ohio!

Dear Brian,

I am so sorry.

I just found out today that you got suckered into the job as CEO of Bank of America last fall. Eeeuw.

That must really suck. You've got a lot of fires to put out right now.
But Brian, I'm here to help.
I've become quite familiar with about 100 of your employees over the past 4 months as I've tried to relentlessly (and so far unsuccessfully) resolve my mother-in-law's financial difficulties tied to Bank of America. I've called so many times, that I've actually spoken to some of your 100,000+ employees more than once! I'm on a first name basis with Kimberly, DeMonde, Jennifer, Chris and Dionne, and let's not forget Lisa.

But enough name dropping!

Since I consider myself kind of an expert with BofA's customer service call center (I find myself humming your on-hold music in the shower), I guess I'd like to offer my services as a consultant. Really, I want to help you shape up your company's act. Because you really, really need it. So Brian, roll up your shirtsleeves, and let's get down to business.

So Brian Moyhihan, why don't you go get us some coffee (make mine a non-fat double latte), and we'll meet back here in a few, roll up our shirtsleeves, and get down to the business of solving some problems with Bank of America. Because once we solve some of your problems, we might be able to finally get around to solving MY problems with Bank of America.

How Bank of America screwed a little old lady on life support

Allow me to introduce you to Margaret. She hasn't had an easy life, but she's a survivor.
I hope she survives what Bank of America has done to her.

Margaret survived falling out of a tree as a child, which left her with a permanent speech impediment making her sound like she's from the deep south.
She survived being repeatedly beaten by the father of her 3 children, and severely mistreated by most of the men in her life.
Margaret lives a simple life. She's only got a 5th grade education, and she can't read too well. Never owned a computer, never owned a debit card. She's got a rattletrap old car to get around. But nobody bakes bread the way this woman can, and her potato salad is da bomb. So she cooks for other people. Well into her 70's, Margaret still holds a part time job taking care of other senior citizens to supplement her social security. And she needs it, living pretty much month to month.
She lives in a dilapidated old house in Coos Bay, Oregon that her father left her, but she had to take out a small mortgage on the homestead a few years ago to pay for some badly needed repairs.
Last year, somebody stole Margaret's identity. We don't know how it happened. But what we do know is that after someone drained Margaret's checking account, that while Bank of America had been notified of the fraud, it dropped the ball after only partially investigating the fraud. Not only was Margaret's life savings not returned, not only was her credit rating destroyed, Bank of America stole her home as well, foreclosing on it when she missed one payment after the fraudsters stole everything and Bank of America failed to put it back.

OK, I'm exaggerating a little bit.
It would be utterly and completely ridiculous if Bank of America were to foreclose on someone's home for just one missed payment, right? Well, the rest of the story is just as ridiculous, but here it is:

Margaret kept paying her payments every month, but was still a month behind. She was living month to month now, under a great deal of stress after having everything stolen from her. Eventually, that fall, it wore her out. She came down with double pneumonia in October. She thought she had the swine flu, and stayed home. When she started to turn blue, her brother found her and got someone to take her to the hospital, where she was immediately induced into a coma and put on life support. She stayed there for 2 weeks. They thought she was going to die. But she didn't. She's a fighter. Instead, she was put into a nursing home for awhile. She lost 20 pounds and her dentures didn't fit. She couldn't walk. Couldn't talk. But she lived.
When she was finally sent home, she still couldn't really walk, and she was frail and sickly for another several months. But finally, in May, she went back to work after 6 months on the injured/reserved list. And now, 6 months more down the road, she's back to her old feisty self.

Except for one thing. While she was in the hospital, Bank of America began foreclosing on her home. I gotta say, while it's heartless and cruel to steal someone's home while they're on life support, it's not necessarily illegal. It's just not nice. I understand that. But it is illegal for Bank of America to foreclose on someone's home when that homeowner purchased disability insurance that is supposed to make any missed payments during a time of disability due to illness. And that is exactly what happened. And I am just having a heck of a time getting Bank of America to agree with me.

You'd think that once Bank of America was notified that Margaret had disability insurance on her mortgage, that someone at the bank would have worked overtime to immediately rectify the situation. But no. That's not how it's gone down. It's been 4 months today since I made that first phone call to Bank of America, and she still doesn't have her house back. 

When Margaret was finally able to walk and talk again, and take the armload of threatening foreclosure documents Bank of America had erroneously sent to the house next door while she was in the hospital down to her local banking center, she discovered the banking center had shuttered its doors. They were gone.

She started calling the 800 numbers on the paperwork. She was told by some nameless faceless call center employee that her only recourse was to get a loan modification. What about the disability insurance? The people who were telling her she needed to get a loan modification didn't know nuthin' bout no disability insurance. They just had a specific job, which was to either modify Margaret's loan, or foreclose on her home. Did anybody transfer her to the right department at Bank of America so she could get the disability insurance policy to pay? Nope.  Why would they do that when they were so close to taking her home? I'm going to just throw out an idea here....I think Bank of America never bothered to look at her mortgage documents. Just a thought. They just saw her payments hadn't been made, and signed the foreclosure papers. Maybe when she told the bank reps that she had disability insurance, they couldn't understand her. And then again, maybe one department doesn't speak to the other, and they have no idea how to help her.

When I found out about Margaret's situation several months later, I was told by some very unpleasant employees at the North Bend, Oregon branch of Bank of America that Margaret had no such disability insurance. But Margaret swore she did. So I didn't give up. I called the national Bank of America mortgage number. I was told by a very sweet woman from Texas that she didn't see any evidence of any disability insurance either. Finally, as the first eviction sticker was being smacked onto Margaret's front door, I walked into my own Bank of America in California, and asked how in the heck I might get a copy of a mortgage disability insurance policy. And the next day, I had a copy of it in my inbox. Proof.

At that point, I thought it was going be so easy to unravel this improper, illegal foreclosure. But I was wrong.

Bank of America, it's time we had a talk.

Bank of America, let's talk.

Seriously.

Why won't you return my calls?

I have logged over 100 phone calls to your gigantic organization, rarely reaching the same person twice, in the past 4 months. Since the day after you illegally foreclosed on my mother-in-law's home.

I've tried to be nice. I've tried to give you opportunity time and time again to do the right thing and just reinstate the mortgage. And yet you have screwed up every step of the way, and here we are, still going round and round.

You know what I feel like? I feel like the ex-girlfriend that you're blowing off, hoping she'll just go away. But instead, she's driven to stalker-like behavior in order to get your attention.

Every time I call, I go through an automated system of number punching for ten minutes, and then put on hold listening to the same hellish elevator music for another ten minutes, so that I'm almost over the edge anyway by the time I get a real human on the phone.

Whoever the human is, it's a different one every time, and I end up having to tell my story. It doesn't matter if they're sympathetic or completely heartless and rude, they don't have any authority to do anything. When I asked to be passed on to you, the person in charge who can make decisions....the person who can wave the magic wand and make this horrific mess go away in an instant, I'm told someone will get back to me. And nobody ever does. In fact, it's been more than 3 weeks since ya'all told me you'd get back to me, since you said you'd write. Since you said you'd call. But you never did.

Bank of America, I'm beginning to think maybe you don't like me.

Like you're trying to tell me it's over, but don't have the guts to actually say it. Because you're afraid there's a chance I might hire a goon to come after you. So instead, you're ignoring me, getting other people to take my calls and tell me you'll call me back, but you don't really intend to.

Bank of America, I do think it's time to call it quits between us.

But you're not getting my mother-in-law's house.

I promise you that.

Because you know what I have on my side?

Honor. Truth. And a great story that will play out so horribly for you in the newspapers and in the courtroom.

I ask you... is there anyone reading this right now, even without knowing the whole completely fantastic story, that has a shred of sympathy for the largest bank in the country, which was bailed out by my tax dollars, and now can't return a phone call or follow through on a simple promised task? Is there anyone who has sympathy for the Goliath that foreclosed on a little old lady's house when she was in the hospital on life support?

If there's even one small blood cell in your body that is tempted to bleed for Bank of America, read on, friend. And pass it on.