 |
| Brian Moynihan. Learn more about him. He's from Ohio! |
Dear Brian,
I am so sorry.
I just found out today that you got suckered into the job as CEO of Bank of America last fall. Eeeuw.
That must really suck. You've got a lot of fires to put out right now.
But Brian, I'm here to help.
I've become quite familiar with about 100 of your employees over the past 4 months as I've tried to relentlessly (and so far unsuccessfully) resolve my mother-in-law's financial difficulties tied to Bank of America. I've called so many times, that I've actually spoken to some of your 100,000+ employees more than once! I'm on a first name basis with Kimberly, DeMonde, Jennifer, Chris and Dionne, and let's not forget Lisa.
But enough name dropping!
But Brian, I'm here to help.
I've become quite familiar with about 100 of your employees over the past 4 months as I've tried to relentlessly (and so far unsuccessfully) resolve my mother-in-law's financial difficulties tied to Bank of America. I've called so many times, that I've actually spoken to some of your 100,000+ employees more than once! I'm on a first name basis with Kimberly, DeMonde, Jennifer, Chris and Dionne, and let's not forget Lisa.
But enough name dropping!
Since I consider myself kind of an expert with BofA's customer service call center (I find myself humming your on-hold music in the shower), I guess I'd like to offer my services as a consultant. Really, I want to help you shape up your company's act. Because you really, really need it. So Brian, roll up your shirtsleeves, and let's get down to business.
So Brian Moyhihan, why don't you go get us some coffee (make mine a non-fat double latte), and we'll meet back here in a few, roll up our shirtsleeves, and get down to the business of solving some problems with Bank of America. Because once we solve some of your problems, we might be able to finally get around to solving MY problems with Bank of America.
No comments:
Post a Comment