Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Brian Moynihan, Today Is Your Lucky Day!

Just saw this news story this morning, courtesy of the Associated Press, about how Bank of America's creative accounting makes it look like they made a profit in the 3rd quarter of this year of 5.9 BILLION DOLLARS. It correctly claims
"Chief Executive Brian Moynihan is under pressure to prove that he is turning around the Charlotte, North Carolina-based bank, which has been besieged by mortgage losses and lawsuits."
Well, Brian Moynihan, you little leprechaun, today is your lucky day. I have an idea that could achieve that for you!

Mr. Moynihan - why don't you give me a call. I'll tell you all about my great idea to restore my faith in the (now) 2nd biggest bank in the U.S. It involves making the decision to do the right thing and restore the mortgage of just one little old lady. It involves doing the right thing and taking responsibility for two years of screw ups, foot dragging, misguided, mis-informed and downright rude employees, incomplete investigations, and bad communication skills.
This idea involves a revolutionary concept - instead of trying to increase profits for investors in BofA stock, how about cutting checks to the REAL investors in your bank? People like 70 year old Margaret Hintz, who's into your corporation for $58,000, but doesn't have a cent to her name, nor any equity in the house she's called home for years, thanks to your shitty business management skills?
I propose calling it even. In exchange for my faith being restored, you, Brian Moynihan, put back all the money that was defrauded from Margaret Hintz that your bank failed to investigate when it was reported several years ago. Then, I'd like you to write your own bank a check for every payment that would've been due on the mortgage of Margaret Hintz since the moment you began to illegally foreclose on her home after allowing all her money to be stolen through fraud, failing to properly investigate it, denying that she had disability insurance when she was hospitalized on life support, and continue to make those payments until the moment you finally reinstate her mortgage. We've been waiting for a year and a half since Fannie Mae slapped your bad little hands and put the mortgage back into your hands for reinstatement. 
It's not like you don't have the money, right? You made a 3rd quarter profit this year of 5.9 Billion, right? You're charging $5/month for clients to use their debit cards now, riiiiight?
I think accepting some personal responsibility for the horrific mistreatment of a little old lady's finances would be a great way to show the country that you are actually serious about turning around your bank to gain the trust of America once again.
Just start with this one old lady, and you might just change my mind.

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